It's the age-old tale of boy meets alien abductor. Boy meets stun-gun. Boy learns he's the only one who can save the Earth from Extreme World Makeover by interstellar landlords. Yeah: he thinks it's a bit much, too. Like everyone else on his planet, Bertram Ludlow hasn't paid much attention to fluctuations in the intergalactic real estate market. But as a cognitive psychology grad student, he has given some thought to what a complete mental breakdown looks like. And this is pretty close. Now he's discovering space is a mad and mind-boggling place where interspecies communication rests on the power of a gumball. Where androids demand better work/life balance. Where crime is Art, technology still has its bugs, and lasers don't actually go pyew-pyew. It's also surprisingly easy to get on the Universe's Most Wanted list. So with the weight of the world on his shoulders and the cosmic law on his tail, can Bertram outrun, outwit and out-bid to save the Earthling squatters from one spaced-out redevelopment plan?